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Things Kids Want Their Parents to Know Post-Divorce

Asking a child in the midst of a divorce will most often give you the wrong response. During such difficult times, they will feel stuck in between and be forced to hide in their shell.

However, as adults, those same children will usually have a lot to say about what they felt and how they handled the divorce.

Despite the tough times that come with a divorce, having to split homes and holidays will mean different things to everything. That is why we’re here to help parents understand what children of divorce wished their parents know – even if they might not be able to tell you.

Here are things kids want their parents to know post-divorce.

You didn’t fail as a parent

While this may be the opposite of how kids act during the process, a failed marriage does not mean your skills as a parent is broken.

Children don’t view the divorce as the parent’s fault but rather the changes that will affect them that makes it all the more harder to accept.

Understand their behavioral issues

Some, if not, most children to start to act out in an effect to gain attention and try to bring back the environment they once had.

To move on suddenly from a secure home to a devastating two-home environment, this will cause many to feel withdrawn from their parents and avoid getting hurt.

Children who suddenly become distant and retreat to their own interests may do anything to keep themselves from admitting their problems.

Some may even act out because their parents are also trying to adjust to the new lifestyle changes. As a result, children will begin to misbehave and hope that their behavior will force their parents to get back together and give them the attention they seek.

They feel overwhelmed with loss

Losing a parent to a divorce is a traumatic experience. Some may even compare it to losing a parent to death as some leave for long periods of time.

Get more about custody rights.

Many may also feel loss because one parent is no longer in their lives as much as they once were. That is why is it important for parents to find a common ground and better solutions that will work for both parents and children.

They hate to see their parents fight

Children love their parents. So making arguments and talking down to each other in front of your children will only show your child that you don’t respect the other parent.

In their minds, you will only be making the difficult situation more unbearable to live with. Fighting will only lead to fewer visits and more excuses for children to not want to see or talk to their parents.

Kids want your support

Children find it hard to communicate under stressful situations as they get older. That is why it is crucial for parents to listen to what their child has to say without opening their mouths.

When your child wants to share the rare moment of their feelings, take it as it is and listens.

They still need a routine

Despite the new lifestyles, homes, and behaviors, children will need to develop routines that will downplay the absence of their missing parent.

For example, if you are going through a divorce, choose to enroll your child in activities they enjoy or try new hobbies to learn. These newfound interests will keep them occupied during the major changes. More stories here.

It is important to make it clear that you keep an effort with your kids throughout the entire process. Parents will need to support their children and minimize their absence to help build a strong bond.

Things Kids Want Their Parents Know Post-Divorce
Infographic by: austin.zdfamilylaw.com
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What are Your Child Custody Rights as a Father?

Child custody rights usually favor mothers simply because they are perceived as better caretakers of their children than fathers. However, this belief has been contested by many fathers who think they are equally capable of raising their children. In fact, the courts have gradually recognized that fathers, too, deserve custody rights over their children.

How the family courts decide

The courts decide custody rights according to the best interest of the child. The following factors are considered by the courts:

  • The physical and mental ability of the parents to take care of the child
  • Who makes the decisions involving the child
  • Who helps the child in his or her daily activities
  • Who has better finances to provide for the child’s needs

What are the types of child custody?

Legal custody gives you the right to be the main decision-maker for your child. In this type of custody, you have the final say about the health care, schooling, and other important aspects of raising your child.

On the other hand, physical custody allows you to have your child live with you. You can get both legal and physical rights in either sole or joint custody. Sole custody gives both legal and physical rights to only one parent. In contrast, joint custody allows both parents to share decisions regarding their children’s upbringing.

What causes a dad to lose his custody rights?

If you failed to get sole custody and if, for some reasons, you missed paying child support, these are not enough reasons for you to be deprived of your custody rights over your child.

Remember, you do not pay a fee for seeing your child. But, if you have caused harm to your child or to your ex-spouse, chances are you will lose your custody rights permanently. This may be reversed if the courts rule otherwise.

Children of divorced parents have to live with the trauma caused by the separation of their parents. Thus, their best interest must be served, regardless of who gains the custody.

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How to Care for Your Child’s Emotional Health: A Guide for Solo Fathers

You always want your children to be happy. Of course, who doesn’t? But sometimes, you cannot help wondering if your child is really doing fine under your care.

How to detect emotional development problems

In infants, resisting their parent’s attempts to soothe them and inability to calm down are signs of emotional difficulty. Toddlers with emotional development problems are very irritable and often have tantrums.

They don’t want to be separated from their parents, and they get very upset when it happens. For children of preschool age with emotional problems, they display shyness in new or different situations, hurt themselves and other people on purpose, and have low self-esteem.

What are the signs of emotional development problems?

If your child shows most of the difficulties associated with poor emotional development, then your child needs your understanding and help in coping with the difficulties. Learn about custody rights here.

Definitely, you don’t want to see your child suffering for a long time. Here are some things you can do to guide your child through his or her emotional struggle.

  • Practice daily routines at home so that your child feels secure, knowing that the world is predictable. For example, have your child eat dinner at a certain hour every night. Or you can tuck him to bed after he drinks his milk. As a result, your child will learn to trust you, knowing that you will always be there to meet his or her needs.
  • Spend some quality time with your child. Bonding with your child by reading him story books before bedtime, watching TV together, and going for a walk in the park.
  • Help and allow your child to recognize his feelings. If your child is angry or frustrated, try not to get mad. Always let your child know that you understand his feelings.

Children with good emotional health are likely to do better in school and have good family relationships than those with emotional problems. When children with poor emotional health reach adulthood, they are likely to have poor relationships with their own families and develop mental problems, as well as serious diseases.

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Temporary Child Custody: What Every Divorced Father Needs to Know

Temporary child custody refers to a short-term arrangement that enables parents to ensure that their child is well taken care of while the final custody has not been decided yet.

As with other types of custody, temporary custody allows the custodial parent to make decisions about everything that involves the child. The person given a temporary custody of a child may decide on the child’s schooling, healthcare, and welfare.

Why is temporary custody necessary?

Finalizing a divorce can take months or even years, so rules are needed regarding the upbringing of the child. Temporary custody, which indicates when each parent can take care of the child, prevents one of the parents from running off with the child or denying the other parent access to the child.

It also ensures stability between the parents during the divorce process. Both parents are authorized to decide alone on behalf of the children if no custody order was given when they separated.

What is the process involved?

A temporary custody order may be requested shortly after the divorce petition has been filed. The court grants it in a hearing that is completely separate from that for divorce. The temporary custody hearing may involve the following factors: implementing visitation, child support issues, changes in the final custody order, protection from domestic violence, issues regarding the temporary unavailability of the custodial parent, and issues pending an appeal.

How to win temporary custody of your child

Determine the factors of your case that should be focused on so that the judge will decide in your favor. It is also important to pay close attention to all the issues raised in the temporary custody proceeding.

The temporary rulings of the judge are crucial to the final decisions involving the support, visitation, and custody of the child. So if you lose temporary custody of your child, you must be prepared for the final custody proceeding.

Taken from: https://visual.ly/community/infographic/other/child-custody-infographic

Before the final hearing, you need to do some things to win permanent child custody.

These include maintaining communication with your child, providing money for the child’s support, visiting your child often, and ensuring a stable and secure home environment for your child.  (Support us here)

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